Today I want to talk about a bit of a taboo topic - size. For my entire adult life I've felt that I should be a perfect UK size ten. Never mind what actually suits my body, or my sanity for that matter. If those trousers start to feel a little tight, I will pummel my body into submission until it fits back in them. But, shouldn't it be the other way round? Shouldn't the clothes be made to fit me?
Before I set off on our trip I ordered a couple of pairs of hiking trousers, never the most flattering of garments. Now, I knew they came up small, so ordered a size 12. When I tried them on they were still a little tight but there was no way I was ordering the 14. I mean, imagine! Besides, of course I was going to lose those extra 7 pounds before we went away, right?
Cut to our departure (you're guessing where this is headed, aren't you?) and there I am stuffed into these trousers like they were sausage casing, feeling uncomfortable and grumpy and taking it out on Andy when I should have been thinking of nothing other than our trip of a lifetime.
Don't worry folks, this story does have a happy ending. I had an epiphany on the road to San Francisco about a month in to our US tour and bought myself some rocking Athleta trousers that made me feel great, even with their size 12 tag. A few weeks on I went even further and ditched some more unflattering old clothes in Flagstaff and stocked up on a pretty dress and some flattering shorts and a new shirt. I felt great, no matter what the label said.
It's still a battle. Being 5' 3" and curvy I've always yearned for that petite pocket rocket figure. But it's just not me. Sure I can whittle my way down there, but the battle to stay there and still have a healthy relationship with food and my body has always been a losing one. I have a wardrobe full of clothes back home that probably won't fit anymore when I return. But I'm excited to get clothes I don't have to fight to get into! It's time to stop trying to shrink away and instead to be me - healthy and happy at size whatever.
Have a good day all. I'm off to get some food as we are cooking for our Aussie friends we met in Brazil tonight. Bangers and mash.
Watch out for my next post later this week where I'll be giving you ideas for quick, healthy breakfasts at my dear friends Rachael's request. If you have any requests for future posts, put them in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org